Aizen's OOC Sleepover Extravaganza!
by Written Fairground
Summary: What happens when Aizen decides to hold a sleepover with the Espada? Random stuff, of course! With party crashers, fun games and completely OOC Espada. Rated T for language and such. Enjoy!
1. The Invitation

**Author's Babble:**

**So, my sister and I are major Espada fans. And by fans I mean, we enjoy throwing them into stupid situations like this one. Instead of us doing anything meaningful, we typed the first chapter to the most OOC and cracked out story I have ever written. We do hope you enjoy, this will be the first of a series of OOC Espada stories. **

**-------- A BlueTalker Collaboration ---------**

* * *

"What the hell is this?"

"An invitation, Grimmjow."

"To what?"

Gin gave a slick smile. "A slumber party, of course."

Grimmjow groaned with building aggravation, since when should he know what a slumber party was?

"Gin, what is a slumber party?" He said desperately.

"I forget, most of you are either ignorant or" -He fought back a snicker- "blatantly retarded."

In response, Grimmjow made a motion like he wanted to deck Gin smartly across the face, but he knew better. Collecting himself, he shot: "Cut the insults, and just tell me, you punk!"

"Geez, don't take it to heart." Gin chuckled. "It's sort of like a party where everyone gathers in usually one room and sleep together."

Grimmjow made a face of absolute disgust.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Grimmy."

Before Grimmjow could announce his dislike of the entire idea of a party like that, Aizen entered the room. His presence only added more to Grimmjow's growing anger; rather what he was wearing. The usually white cloaked man was wearing quite possibly the most out of character outfit Grimmjow had ever seen. He was adorned with a pair of fleece pajamas covered in a crude design of tea cups. White tea cups. Oh, joy.

"What's with that face, Grimmjow?" Aizen coolly asked, making his way over the heading seat of the table. "Do you not like my sleep attire?" -He held his arms out at his sides in a failed pose- "Aren't they hip?"

The sound of Aizen saying 'hip' brought a terrible mental picture of Aizen at a seventies disco. Grimmjow fought back an urge to laugh with a cringe.

"They're…" he searched for a word. "Unusual?"

"Thank you, it took me days to find ones with a tea cup pattern." -He sat down- "I had Tosen look on EBay for a pair. Only ten dollars." he added with a thumbs up.

The shit was an EBay?

The door to the room burst open, revealing Harribel and her Fraccion; all of them looked ready to bust a skull. Gin frowned at them; "Oh my. You four look livid."

"We are, so shut up!" Apache rang, throwing a finger at Gin.

"Don't be so rude!"

"Who's the rude one?!" she spat. "We weren't invited to your sleepover tonight!"

For the first time since the conversation started, Grimmjow was pleased by a piece of news. For one, he didn't mind Harribel, but her Fraccion were fucking irritating. Also, from Noitora's long hours of meandering self conversation, he knew that half the Espada men slept naked. The last thing he wanted was women to gawk over them.

Aizen rested his chin on the back of his hand. "We can't have women attend. Things would get messy."

"Messy, my ass!" Screeched Apache, Mila Rose shushed her with a slap on the back of her neck. "Fine," -she rubbed the throbbing area on her neck- "Have your gay orgy. We girls will have another party, that you boys can't come to!"

"Yeah, the four of you have fun." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Shove off, Sexta!" she snapped. With that, the girls turned from the three men and marched from the room. Leaving an air of hilarious silence.

Now what?

Aizen sighed. "I have a feeling Luppi is going to have the same reaction."

"Wha-?" Grimmjow started, but Gin cut him off.

"Read the back." he answered with a point to the invitation.

Flipping it over, the sixth Espada read in big black letters:

'**ABSOLUTELY NO WOMEN ALLOWED. OR ANYTHING THAT IS REMOTELY CLOSE TO A FEMALE. (THIS MEANS YOU, LUPPI.)'**

Giving a roar of laughter, Grimmjow flicked the card from his hand.

"Good. I fucking hate that faggot." -He sat down at the table- "So…where is this shindig goin' down?"

"Well, right here, of course!" Aizen chuckled. Sexta put his head down; defeated. The door open, once again, this time opening to the rest of the men Espada. Or most of them. They filed in: Szayel, Starrk, Ulquiorra, Noitora and Yammy. All sat down in their usual seats, each wearing a face of morbid hatred for the entire idea of a sleepover. (Except Noitora, he was grinning like always.) Yammy slammed a fist on the table.

"WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA?!" His voiced raised along with the bits of splinter from the tabletop.

"Aizen did." Szayel responded, giving the fist hole a fixed glare.

Yammy looked alarmed beyond belief, and attempted to fix his blunder. "BECAUSE IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA!" Fist slammed again, more wood.

Starrk rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "If it's always night in Los Noches, how do we know when this ends?"

"It ends when we say so." Gin jeered.

"That'll be rule one." Aizen said, producing a yellow notepad from no explainable place. "We have to have some. The last thing I need is a bunch of chaos in my army."

Ulquiorra chimed in: "I think we need to have a dress code."

"Great idea," -Aizen scribbled some nonsense down in his notebook.- "Let's see…"

"No shoes."

Aizen wrote, the rest nodded.

"No uniforms."

Starrk scoffed.

"And no nudity."

Noitora and Yammy raised a protest.

"How can we sleep if we are being compressed by clothes?!" Noitora shot.

Aizen nodded, "True."

"GOD. NO." Grimmjow bellowed, putting his face in his hands. The others who had not protested the regulation followed Grimmjow in a loud burst of arguments. Gin put up his hands in mock alarm, grinning as he did it.

"Fine," -Aizen crossed something off the paper- "Nudity isn't permitted. I'm sure you can find something Noitora."

A cheer broke out.

"Oh, another rule." -Gin pointed to the paper- "No girls, no Luppi and no Shinigami."

"Oooh. Good one." Aizen wrote it down with a flourish.

"Wait." Ulquiorra questioned. "Why would we have the need to write down a rule not permitting someone who shouldn't even BE anywhere near here in the first place?"

Gin and Aizen exchanged worried looks. The rest of the men all sighed, they knew something stupid was going down.

"Well…" Gin started. "When Tosen sent out the invites…he might have still had his old Vice Captain on the mailing list."

"Hold up," Noitora leaned forward, putting a elbow on the table. "So your telling me that at any minute, some group of Shinigami men and women could bust in and spoil our bash?"

"Looks like it." Gin said sadly.

The tall Arrancar sat back again. "And why are you telling me I can't sleep nude?"

"Because you're disgusting." Szayel playfully reproached. Noitora sneered at him while Aizen continued on.

"If they come in then we should show hospitality."

Seven jaws dropped in unison.

"WHY WOULD I SHOW SOME SOUL REAPING FUCKERS ANY HOSPITALITY?!" Grimmjow howled, standing up.

"I have to agree with Sexta." Ulquiorra furrowed his brow. "I don't see why we should show them any gesture of the sort."

"Because," -Aizen pushed the rule list out of his way- "This is a party. Not a time for any sort of brawl."

At that moment, Tosen stepped in, arms piled with pillows. He stumbled a bit before dropping it on the table. They slipped everywhere, even on the floors. Many of the Arrancar snickered in reaction, Tosen announced:

"I have brought the pillows."

"Did you get the board games?" Gin asked, reaching to pick up a pillow.

"I couldn't find but a few." He stacked a small heap of games on the table.

"Sweet!" Noitora picked up one from the pile. "We can all play Pictionary…" The end of the word died as he looked at Tosen, who was scowling.

"Never mind!" Szayel grabbed another. "We can play chess…" Once again, a remorseful look with a scowled response.

Yammy tried to save the humiliation from growing. "Nah! We can play Charades!" He put up his hands and smiled.

The whole room sighed at their large comrade. Aizen stood up from his seat and pulled a small night cap with a puff ball at the end out of his pocket. He flung it on the table.

"Alright, my Arrancar." he smiled. "Go to your rooms and put on your pjs. The party starts as soon as you all get back!"

Reluctantly, the Espada stood up and walked out the door, followed by a bouncing Gin. Once they left, Aizen went and laid a hands on Tosen's shoulders.

"Don't worry." -He gave the blind man a little shake- "We'll find a game for you."

* * *

**A/D**

**Well, did you enjoy it? The next chapter is in the starting layout, then we will be posting it soon. Review and enjoy!**


	2. The Party

**Author's Babble:**

**As always, I don't own Bleach. And this idea was entirely the person sitting next to me's. Which would be my sister, Sarah. (She is the "Blue" in BlueTalker.) Reluctantly, she dubbed me in charge of typing down what she says and we combine our humor. I'm so happy for my reviews! I want to thank all of your wonderful reviews! **

* * *

Grimmjow threw his jacket across the room. It hit the wall and slid several feet away from his hamper, but it's not like he gave a fuck. Mumbling inaudible profanity under his breath, he reached under his bed for the pajamas he had worn for the past four nights. Though they smelled like what he assumed Yammy smelled like all the time. He shrugged and pulled on a white tank top and hitched up his grey sweat pants.

"This is so fucking stupid…"

Throwing open the door, the stomped down the hall towards the grand dinning room. While cursing his life and plotting the ways he'd love to kill Aizen, he spotted a few feet ahead of him Noitora. And….

Oh god. What is he dressed in?

"Hey, Grimmjow." He slickly cackled. "I see you actually put on your pajamas. Didn't think you'd actually obey."

"Oh, just kiss my ass, okay?" He retorted. "What the hell are you wearing?"

The taller Espada was indeed, wearing something ridiculous. Instead of being completely naked, he was wearing only a pair of button front boxers and socks. Tube socks.

"Never mind all this. You look cute." The fifth Espada snickered, making a motion to pat Grimmjow on the head.

"BITE ME!" Grimmjow yelped. "I don't even want to go to this damn party!"

Noitora feigned a shocked expression. "Why wouldn't you? We all get to lay out on the floor together! Doesn't it sound _super_ manly?"

They both rolled their eyes and made their way into the main hall. Upon arriving to the usually clean, well kept room; they were greeted to a very unusual sight. The great table had been pushed against the wall, with the elevated chairs messily stacked on the table. Pillows were scattered around the room, blankets laid around in heaps and a boom box stupidly set up in the middle of the floor.

Grimmjow was ready to vomit.

"Well this is different." He heard Szayel state from behind him. He spun to see he and Ulquiorra had just came into the room, the latter holding his own pillow.

"Indeed. With the blankets everywhere one of us is bound to trip and fall." Ulquiorra sighed. He wore a white and black satin set of pajamas, it almost looked identical to his usual uniform; minus the tightness. Noitora sneered at him.

"We agreed to not wearing uniforms, you heathen!" He spat. "Why are you wearing that?!"

"It isn't my uniform, simpleton." -He pointed to the black buttons down the front- "Look closer next time you decide to open your mouth with foolish comments."

Szayel laughed as Ulquiorra marched past the two other Arrancar. "By the way," -A look of humorous disgust at Noitora- "Wonderful outfit. Did you get that from what you left the brothel?"

"No, but you can suck my dick."

"Classy!"

"Are you two always fighting?! How are we going to sleep if you two keep piping off?" Stark snapped as he walked in. He sported a plain pair of blue gym shorts and a red shirt. "If I have to, I'll kick both of in the ass. But I'd rather not fight…"

"Shut up, Stark."

"And," -Stark cupped a hand over his mouth- "I'm not going to call your outfit ridiculous. Wait until you see Yammy."

Grimmjow groaned. "What's that dumb ass got on NOW?!"

Before the Primera could respond, Grimmjow's question was sadly answered. Sexta's jaw dropped:

"Oh my god." -He covered his face in his hands- "Just fuck me in the face."

Yammy looked like a total idiot. Footy pajamas. A huge, tacky pair of footy styled sleepwear in orange color you only find in sick. The men erupted into laughter, falling to the floor in a pool of hoots. The larger Espada furrowed his eyebrows in baffled humiliation.

"What the hell are morons laughing at?" He snarled, lifting his fist.

"N-nothing….Yammy…" Szayel forced in between burst of laughter.

"Guys…we aren't being…" -Grimmjow tried to pull himself up by Ulquiorra's pant leg, but failed under his own roar- "…at least he isn't nude!"

This caused even more mayhem among the men, even Ulquiorra fell to the ground under his fit. Only the shushing of Aizen brought them back to their senses, yet they all still cringed to fight back a snicker. Aizen glared at all his army.

"You need to behave yourselves. Or this party won't go well." He said menacingly.

Starrk kicked the nearest pillow once Aizen had turned his attention to the radio. "This party already sucks."

"You guys spoil the fun." Came Gin's voice from the corner. He was wearing a flannel get up under a blue robe. "Come on, we'll start a few games once Tosen gets in here."

"It's a wonder how that guy finds his place anywhere…" Noitora said lazily.

"His best friend was practically a seeing eye dog for the man." Gin chuckled, putting his hands in his robe pockets. "But stop talking about it…here he comes."

Indeed, Tosen stepped into sight wearing purple sleepwear and fuzzy bunny slippers. He also donned a nightcap, his glasses were gone, but he had eye covers resting on his forehead. While Grimmjow wondered why he needed them, Gin went on about the game selection.

"We can play truth or dare, but honestly, I'm terrified of what Noitora would suggest…"

Everyone nodded in agreement, even Noitora himself.

"Or maybe…no…we can't play spin the bottle. We can't turn all of our men queer."

"Yammy beat you too it." Grimmjow snickered and Yammy flicked him off in response.

"How about hide and seek?" Szayel suggested. "Or freeze tag?"

Aizen pointed to Tosen; Szayel shut up.

"What about…" Ulquiorra chimed in. "We just try the truth or dare? And promise we don't make any odd dares."

"Yeah…" The room agreed and they all sat in a circle.

"We'll start with me." Noitora said, pointing to himself; a grown followed. "And I'll begin with…Grimmjow."

The Sexta whimpered, he would rather die. "Shoot."

Noitora grew a grin. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to stick you sword in your -"

"WE HAD A PROMISE!"

"PLAY THE GAME AND LET ME FINISH!"

"NO! I WILL NOT TO DO YOUR STUPID ASS DARE!"

"What are you? A wimp?"

"AT LEAST I DON'T SLEEP IN THE BUFF!"

"What's all the hubbub?" Aizen called from over his shoulder as he fiddled with the radio some more.

"Nothing Aizen…" They all called back. Grimmjow was in Noitora's face, screaming random profanities into it. Noitora was roaring just as many back at him; the two looked ready to kick each the other in the teeth.

"You creepy, stalking loser! Show me what you're made of!" Grimmjow spat.

"Oh?! Well, I'll tell you just where you can stick your sword you blue haired faggot!"

Before anyone could make an attempt to stop them, the two were up on their feet in a fighting stance. Szayel and Ulquiorra shouted in protest to the fight, while the other men cheered at the growing heat of the action. Noitora swung a fist towards Grimmjow's jaw…

They were interrupted by a loud blast from the radio Aizen had been tinkering with. It shook some of the men, and Szayel tried to clutch the ground in fear. Eight sets of eyes, (Even Tosen!), turned to a fairly amusing sight before them.

Like a paraplegic belly dancer, Aizen was on his feet attempting his version of the Single Ladies dance, he was accompanied by the song screeching through the speakers. Banging his head, he didn't notice every single mouth had nearly hit the floor in shock. He turned to look at his dumbstruck comrades.

"Come on and join in!" He called, waving his left hand out in front of him. "What's a get-together without some good music?"

Ulquiorra and Szayel backed away, eyes searching for every escape route in the area. Yammy was being torn if he wanted to join in or not, and it looked like Gin was in the same boat. Starrk was still in shock. (Tosen had no idea what was happening, but he knew it was stupid.) The fifth Espada cooed into Grimmjow's ear:

"Hey, Grimmy? Why don't you jump in and put the 'sex' in Sexta?"

Grimmjow turned to face him, his nose inches away from the other's "Put a sock in in, Noitora!"

"And put a ring on it!" Aizen popped up in between them, still shaking it.

Everyone stopped where they were and stared at Aizen. Their leader had lost it. Starrk ran for the door, calling over his shoulder that this party wasn't worth it. Gin dashed to the radio and tried to stop the music that screamed from it before kicking it into the wall where it shattered. Beyonce's voice slowly died from it. Silence filled the room, with only the sound of Starrk's feet smacking the floor.

Grabbing the knob, he yelled: "I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE! THIS IS PSY-" Just as he was about to spit out his last word, it was stopped by the sound of wood colliding with bone. Everyone spun to see Starrk writhing on the ground, holding his face in pain. Whatever he was yelling into his hands was loud, but inaudible. From the depths of the outer hall, a voice rang:

"IS THIS WHERE THE PARTYS AT!?"

* * *

**A/B:**

**This is the most cracked out thing I and my sister have ever thought of. But by FAR the most entertaining mental picture we had, we were giggling through it. You guys liked OOC, and we gave you OOC. (And more to spare.)**

**Thanks for the reviews on chapter one! **

**- Emily **


	3. The Party Crashers

**Author's Babble:**

**My goodness, we're not done yet! I've grown to love this story, which honestly I didn't think I would. Many of the characters I didn't like before, I've fallen in love with due to how depict them. (Starrk is the biggest one.) Now, we don't own Bleach or it's characters. We're just completely killing them in fandom.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"IS THIS WHERE THE PARTYS AT?!"

All eight sets of eye's grew wide as they slowly looked up to the door. (Minus Starrk's, they were covered by his hands.) Just as they had feared, it was the worst.

Six of them. Six party crashers.

A man with a spiky red colored ponytail stood in front, his hand was cupped over his mouth to indicate he had just shouted. Tattoos covered what they could see of his body, these matched the even more ridiculous styles of his friends.

"Oh no." Rang a man with feathers dotting his right eye. "We hit one of them. What an unattractive entrance…"

"Can it, Yumichika." Shouted a bald man. "It was his own damn fault."

"Well you didn't have to kick it open so harshly. You're going to wake the entire palace."

"I'll show you a harsh kick in the ass if you don't shut up."

"You two are ruining the entire crash!" Wailed a kid with brilliant orange hair, they all knew at once that it was Ichigo Kurosaki. "Leave it to you guys to make us look uncool!"

"At least you guys aren't looking like tools in front of your ex-Captains!" Hisagi bellowed, punching Renji in the back of the head. "Try to look a little more bad ass!"

"He has a point…can we try to not look barbaric?" A blonde man coolly requested.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" Grimmjow hollered at the men. (Boy, he wished he had his sword.) Instead of the anticipated reaction, which was the men attack; they all stopped bickering and gawked.

The bald man burst out laughing. "Just what the hell are you wearing?"

"How ugly." Yumichika crinkled his nose in disgust.

Gin smiled at them, waving them in. "Well? Are you going to just stand there?"

"Wait." Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "You want us to come in?"

"That's what I said."

"You want us," -He motioned to his group- "…To just walk in?"

"YES." Noitora exclaimed.

Renji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Aw, damn."

"Do we really suck at crashing?" Hisagi groaned.

"No, they are just terrible at recognizing danger!" Ikkaku bellowed. "Come on! Weren't you having a good time before we showed up?!"

Everyone except Aizen and Gin shook their head furiously. The six newcomers frowned.

"Well…" Ichigo slapped his forehead. "Isn't this just perfect."

"Should we…reject the hospitality?" Izuru insisted, shying back a bit. "It's such a nice change of events."

"Man up, Izuru!" Renji seized him by the shoulder, and six pairs of hand pushed him forward. "If you want it so bad, go in first!"

Izuru stumbled in, catching himself before he fell like an idiot. He stood there, uneasily.

"Do…you think they'll eat him?" Yumichika rested his hand on cheek.

"I dunno…they might rape him." Ikkaku suggested, eyeing Noitora in his boxers.

"Go on, step in." Aizen spread his arms out in welcome. "We won't bite."

"Yammy might." Szayel mentioned, pointing to his large, orange friend. "He tends to get crazy around men."

"All of you guys can just shut the fuck up." Yammy barked back.

"Is this a friend of yours?" Noitora slickly asked, casting a glare back to the other Shinigami at the door. "Or any of the others?"

"You could say that." Gin stated.

"LIKE HELL WE ARE!" Ikkaku shouted back.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU DRESSED IN PJS?!"

"Back to your circle, boys, we'll get them in on it and they can introduce themselves." Aizen pointed the Espada back to their place on the floor. "You heard me." -He turned to the others at the door- "Get in the circle."

In fear of being killed, they rushed to the group sitting together. Each of them staying away from Yammy and Noitora, the rest looked relatively normal. Tosen dragged Starrk to join them before leaving to make popcorn for the rest of the group. They hoped he wouldn't burn it.

"Start with you, orange one." Szayel pointed at Ichigo.

"We already know who he is!" Grimmjow snapped.

"Be fair…" Aizen patted the Sexta's knee.

Ichigo gulped, twisting the end of his sweat pants. "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Ikkaku Madarame" Said the shaved one, who wore only a set of flannel pants.

"Yumichika Ayasegawa." Sang the feathered man with a flip of his hair. (Yammy wanted to stroke his silky orange night shirt.)

"Renji Abarai." Tattooed one introduced, he was in his boxers and a tank top.

"Izuru Kira." Wearing sleepwear similar to his Ex-Captain's.

"Hisagi Shuhei." (Noitora whistled after he said it, ogling at the muscle outlines in his tank top.)

"Was that hard?" Aizen put his hands on his hips, mockingly. "It wasn't. Now you can join in properly."

Ulquiorra sighed. "We're playing truth or dare."

Renji roared with laughter. "I rock at this game."

"Do you?" Grimmjow shot.

"Wanna bet?"

"Fine then," -Grimmjow crossed his arms- "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Smooth." He faked a shocked look. "Alright…I want you to give this gay," -A harsh point to Ulquiorra- "A strip tease."

Several of the guest cried in protest, the rest broke out in laughter. Yumichika made a noise of repugnance, throwing his nose in the air. Ikkaku was holding his sides in pain of humor, rolling on the floor. Renji smirked, getting on his knees in front of the fourth Espada. Ulquiorra's eyes grew bigger with every millimeter Renji got towards him, too outraged to object.

"Yeah, you like that?" Renji hissed, unsnapping the first button to his buttoned boxers. Ulquiorra shut his eyes just as Ichigo grabbed Renji around the waist, tackling him to the ground.

"I WANT YOU TO TELL ME," -Ichigo rubbed his tattooed friend's face into the ground- "WHAT POSSESSES YOU TO DO STUPID SHIT!?"

"I HAD TO PROVE A POINT!" Renji yelled thickly.

Aizen stood up, making shushing noises as he did it. "Men…boys…calm down." It was futile, there was too much chaos in the area. Some laughing, some dry heaving where they sat and others were staring too hard at the situation to make a sound.

"Oh man…" Hisagi, who had been laying on the ground cracking up, rested himself up on one elbow. "I knew this was a good idea."

"Zip it, jackass!" Ichigo shot at him. "This is horrifying!"

"Come on, I just wanted to show them up!" Renji wailed.

"YOU WANTED TO SHOW THEM MORE!"

Ikkaku couldn't hold it. "You just wanted to show him your Zabimaru!"

More laughter from the Shinigami, Izuru was banging his fist on the floor. "Oh my…okay…we gotta stop…"

Aizen's voice grew louder. "BOYS! Cool down!"

All at once, the room silenced. They had forgotten the Single Ladies lover before them could kill them on the spot if he wanted. Scrambling, they all adjusted themselves back into their circle, pretending the almost strip show had not happened. Awkwardly, they all shifted eyes; looking for someone to smash the ice. Luckily, Tosen entered the shifty views, holding a huge bowl of popcorn high over his head.

"Anyone hungry?"

"DUDE!" Ikkaku shot a hand up for the bowl the same time Yammy did. A stare off was triggered, while the rest sighed.

"I suggest," Ulquiorra stood up. "We begin another game."

* * *

"LEFT HAND GREEN, YOU STUPID ASS."

"FUCK YOU, RENJI!"

Four people were strangely contorted into a ball like form in a Twister mat. Ikkaku was glaring at Renji over his shoulder, his foot digging into Aizen's back. Noitora was practically eating Aizen's knee, reaching for the green circle. Yammy was sitting in a cross legged position, spinner in hand. He had been dubbed the spinner due to everyone's fear of playing with him.

Yammy pounded the ground; the spinner went wild. "Will you two just play the game?!"

"We're trying to play it right, but this bald idiot is screwing it up!"

Ikkaku grabbed Renji by the ponytail, the tattooed one yelped in shock and pain. "BALD?!"

"That's what I said, egg head!"

"RIGHT FIST ON RED!" Ikkaku screamed, pounding his hair hostage on the head. "Am I playing it right, tool?!"

"I'm going to put fingerprints all over your head!"

"Bring it on, baboon king!" He growled, releasing him. "I'll kick your red ass."

"IT'S ON!" Renji yelled, standing upright to annihilate his friend.

Yumichika, who was on the other side of the room, playing charades with the rest of the party, threw a pillow at the two. Hitting Renji squarely in the face, he yelled for them to calm down; they're embarrassing. Turing back to his game, the rest of the group were screaming guesses at Ulquiorra. He wasn't moving much. Or at all, for that matter.

"Dude, you have to MOVE a bit." Hisagi moaned, leaning back on his hands. "How can we guess if you're going to stand there? Mind read?"

"We could count how many blinks there are…maybe it's Morse code?" Noitora suggested, peering at the fourth Espada.

"You know Morse Code?" Grimmjow pretended to be struck with wonderment. Noitora glared at him over Izuru.

"Guys, it's Harry Potter." Ulquiorra breathed, slouching in disappointment.

"Well, how would we have guessed that!?" Ichigo said, looking him up and down.

"Because I like Harry Potter."

"That shouldn't effect our decision, you twerp!"

"The Orange One is right." Grimmjow lay back on his elbow, scratching his stomach. "Pretty much, you blow at this game."

"Then you do it better, Grimmjow."

"Fine, I will." He stood up, brutally shoving Ulquiorra behind him. Putting his hand behind his neck he scratched the back of it in thought. "Um…hang on…let me think of a good one…"

"Hurry up, this game bores me." Starrk snarled, still rubbing his aching nose.

"Okay, okay! I've got one!" The Sexta exclaimed, getting himself ready. "You guys set?"

The group nodded, and Sexta threw up two fingers. Indicating he had two words in his charade.

"Okay…first word…" Izuru rubbed his chin.

Grimmjow waved his arms around, dancing on spot. The crowd gave him appalled looks, raising eyebrows to one another. His clue made no sense.

"We need a more clear hint, dingbat." Szayel huffed.

Grimmjow gave his renowned grin. "WHY SO SERIOUS?!"

"YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO TALK!" Ichigo bellowed.

"YOU WANTED A CLEAR HINT, ASSHOLES!"

"But the rules state that you can't talk." Ulquiorra smoothly recalled. "Therefore, you lose. And draws the conclusion that I am the superior one in this game."

Grimmjow stomped his foot. "No! You! Aren't!"

"Dude, what are you…five?" Hisagi laughed.

"Okay, 69, you do it." Grimmjow snarled. "I was The Joker anyways…"

"Duh."

Smirking, Hisagi stood up. He held up two fingers just as Grimmjow had, but instead of looking like a moron; he smartly moon walked towards Gin. Spinning around, he let out a howl and snapped. The rest cheered and laughed before Ulquiorra called:

"Michael Jackson!"

"Oh, come on!" Grimmjow threw up his hands. "You guys cheated!"

"How could we cheat, Sexta?" The fourth rolled his eyes.

"It was way to obvious." Szayel stated. "You'd have to be stupid not to get it."

"I don't even know who that guy is!"

"Do you live under a rock?"

"Bite the weenie, Szayel."

The pink haired Arrancar sighed, and turned to his uppers. They hadn't said much since the games started, which was a shock to him.

"Should we start another game?" He asked Gin.

"Actually," Aizen called from across the room. "I think it's time we all head to bed."

Starrk grinned. "Finally!"

* * *

**A/B:**

**Whew! This one was long and fun to write. We'll have slower updates now, since school started this week. (EW.) But I promise we will try our best to come out with the next one by the end of the month. Thanks for the reviews! **

**- Emily**


	4. The Slumber Part: 1

**Author's Babble:**

**Holy dang. Chapter four! We're super excited for this one, we've been planning it for a while now. I hope you all enjoy it! I love the reviews to death! :D What we did with this chapter was broke it up for sleeping arrangement and simplicity. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Ikkaku rolled himself up in a huge fleece blanket that the Ex-Fifth Division Captain had provided for him. Snuggling into it, he peeked out to Ayasegawa.

"You! Get the nerd to scoot over."

"I can hear you." Szayel sternly grunted, he was applying lotion to his arms. "If you want me to move, you can ask…brute."

"Shut up, four eyes. Why are we stuck with you anyways?"

"Because no one else could stand the light that reflects off your scalp."

"How can you see it with the glare on your glasses?"

"Touché." The pink hair Arrancar capped his bottle and offered it to Yumichika. The latter made a disgusted face and waved it away.

"Ew, no. I use my own. If I use your formula, I'll look ugly."

"Suit yourself." He tossed it over his shoulder. A cry of pain was heard from Ichigo where it had bonked him squarely in the nose. "Oops. Ah well, not like he needs his nose anyways."

Ikkaku and Yumichika exchanged confused looks before turning to see Szayel fluffing his pillow.

"Anyways…you still need to move over, dude."

Szayel ignored him, adjusting his blankets just right. Yumichika shrugged and lay down next to him.

"He doesn't have to move, we have plenty of room."

"I kick in my sleep! Unless he wants his face full of foot, he had better move!"

"Look, I'll sleep in between. Can we just go to bed?"

"Fine. But the geek had better not try and touch me."

* * *

"Who's lotion is this?!" Ichigo screamed, throwing it at the wall above the shattered radio. It exploded upon impact and trickled down the wall onto the pieces of bottle and electronic. Ichigo looked up and Grimmjow and Noitora who were restlessly deciding where they were going to lay.

"Okay. Since I'm the tallest, I have to go at the end." Noitora pointed to the end, pillow under one arm.

"Then were do I go?" Sexta demanded.

"In the middle. Since we want our company at the end."

"Why at the end?"

"Just shut up and do it…"

"Hell, at least I'm warmer." Grimmjow threw his pillow in its place and flopped down on the large air mattress. Ichigo wobbled at the end, clinging on for dear life. "You alright, Fruit?"

"Don't call me a fruit!"

"First off your name suggest it. Your hair is the color of an orange. Orange is fruit. Same thing, case closed."

"At least my teeth are on the inside of my mouth."

"I was born this way, Fruit."

"Knock it off!"

Noitora interrupted the idle banter by hardly throwing his pillow onto his spot. Grimmjow glared at the Fifth Espada.

"Dude, lay down. You're hovering over me and it's really creepy."

"I'm adjusting my boxers, twit."

The two on the bed gave him a repulsed stare. Noitora then sat on the bed, pulling off his socks. He tossed them over his head where they rained down upon Ichigo and Grimmjow. They smelled dreadful.

"Oh, ew!" Ichigo swatted them off of the bed. "Don't do that, it's sick!"

"Your feet smell so terrible! Put them under the blankets!" Grimmjow threw the covers at the taller Arrancar.

"Pardon my manly scent." Noitora stretched out on the bed.

"Why am I stuck with you two…" Ichigo rolled over, facing away from the two. Grimmjow copied his position.

"Because you don't have any friends."

"At least we aren't with Yammy." The Fifth Espada pointed out, and they all shuddered. Grimmjow lay his face on his arm, pressing it against his cheek. This was the stupidest group, but at least he wasn't part any other group. The group with the Tenth Espada weren't going to wake up virgins. (He just knew that Ulquiorra had to be a virgin.) He closed his eyes to try and drift to sleep. Noitora turned over onto his side, facing Grimmjow's back. He leaned into his ear, whispering:

"Hey, Sexta?"

"What now?" He growled.

"Wanna spoon?"

Grimmjow's eyes flew open, he jumped out of bed. "I can't do this!" He grabbed his pillow and glared at Noitora who was laughing his ass off. "Fruit!"

"What?" Ichigo groggily whined.

"Switch places with me!"

"No! Can't we just go back to sleep?"

"NO ONE WAS ASLEEP!"

Noitora swung his legs over the edge, still amused by his question. Grimmjow opened his mouth to scream at him, but was interrupted by Starrk.

* * *

**A/B:**

**I'm SO sorry about the abrupt stop. We just needed to update! This part will be divided into 2-3 pieces. Just because I didn't want it to get to be so looong.**

**Hope you enjoyed! **


	5. The Slumber Part: 2

**Author's Note:**

**MY GOSH. We are so sorry about the wait on this one. The end of school came, then summer happened and we're both lazy asses…**

**Anyway. We tried VERY hard on this one to perfect it so you won't be disappointed. We might even extend this fic due to people's request and love of it. (For some reason you kids love it. But I am not complaining, the reviews make my day!)**

**Hope you enjoy and feel free to suggest things you like to see! It helps us get ideas.**

**:] **

* * *

"WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP?" Starrk roared, propping himself up on one elbow.

Hisagi sighed, looking over his shoulder to the thunderous troop. "Typical. I knew they'd cause ruckus." Noitora shot the men the bird and Grimmjow continued to holler in his ear. Ichigo was blankly staring at a wall with his mouth pressed into a thin line.

The First Espada shot another glare in the louder group's direction before laying down again. He pulled out a small bottle of sleeping pills, and poured a plethora of them in his hand. Hisagi gave him an uneasy look while the other counted them. Starrk noticed his bed mate watching him and shrugged.

"I'm not committing suicide."

Gin, who had been talking to Aizen from across the room, walked up at that moment. Giving Starrk a long sly stare, he pushed him over with his foot.

"Oh really? And here I was hoping you would…"

"You creep me out…" Starrk sighed, finishing up his counting. "Besides. I'm going to make sure I'm good and out in case twinkle-toes here has a wet dream."

Hisgai's eyes swelled twice their size. "I haven't had one in years!"

Gin's smile crept upwards. "If you guys did have one, who would it entail?"

Starrk choked on one of his pills. "Are you that fucked up?"

"I'm serious!" The fox face sat cross legged. "Personally, it would be Rangiku for me."

"There is no way I'm talking to you about this." Starrk growled and Hisagi agreed with a rapid nod. "You'd tell the entire world."

"Why? Are you embarrassed?" Gin grinned.

"No. It just isn't your business."

"Is it a guy?"

"What? No!"

"Is it Yammy?"

"I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU." Starrk jumped from the bed, his pills hitting the floor. (The room was growing rather dirty.) Grabbing his pillow and blanket, he tried to leave the area, but Gin had him by the back of the shirt.

"You're not going anywhere!" Gin sang, tugging Starrk a little bit.

"Get…let…go…off!" He struggled against the surprisingly strong grip Gin had on him. Hisagi sighed, and crushed a little pill with his thumb. He wanted to go back to the Soul Society.

"No, no, no, no!" Gin shook Starrk. "You have to stay with us!"

"Over my dead body!"

"Hisagi!" Gin turned to the tattooed man on the bed. "Who would be in your dream?" He asked still wrestling Starrk back to the bed.

"Um…" His eyebrows wrinkled together. "I have no idea."

"Come on. There are plenty of women to choose from…"

"I dunno…this is awkward." Hisagi shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Gin fully ignored his unsatisfying response and continued to force Starrk back on the bed. After a few minutes of screeching and punching, Gin sat triumphantly atop Starrk's back.

"DUDE. GET OFF OF ME." Starrk yelped trying to swing punches with his pinned down arms.

"You're not going anywhere." Gin snag, patting him on the head. "What was your answer again, Hisagi?"

"Uh…why don't you ask someone else?" Hisagi sat up and squinted his eyes to scan the room. "Oh! Ask Renji, he's usually pretty horny."

"Alrighty then!" Gin cupped a hand over his mouth. "HEY! RENJI!"

A few minutes of silence, then: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"IF YOU HAD A WET DREAM, WHO'D BE IN IT?"

"OH! THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION!"

"I KNOOOOOOOW!"

"I'D HAVE TO SAY…YUZU. TOTALLY."

Ichigo's blank expression died as he leapt from the bed and stormed over…

"Oh no. He's pissed." Ulquiorra sighed as the orange haired kid stomped over with is fist balled up.

"So what?" Renji cracked his knuckles. "I got this."

"You are a SICK man, Renji!" Ichigo bellowed. "That is my sister…she's eleven, you sick bastard!"

Renji sat cross legged. "It's my fantasy, so I can have whoever I want! And she has a twin, that's sexy."

Ichigo's face boiled red in fury. "I AM GOING TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU."

"Oh no he didn't." Yammy said leaning over Renji's shoulder.

"He did. But that's okay, because Yammy's got my back. Right, dude?" He threw his hand back for a high five that Yammy enthusiastically returned. Once he received the high five, he returned his hand to his hip.

"So?" Ichigo looked wildly around. "That's too bad because Grimmj-"

"No." Hollered Grimmjow.

"…I'll kick your ass later, Baboon kid." Ichigo pointed at him as he backed away.

Ulquiorra sighed and shook his head. "I cannot believe I have to sleep with you two."

"But we're awesome!" Yammy explained.

"Not really." Ulquiorra shrugged. "Now may we PLEASE go to sleep? I have many important things to do tomorrow."

The two other men nodded and gathered their pillows and blankets. They laid down with Yammy at one end, Renji in the middle and Ulquiorra at the other end. Renji was facing Ulquiorra's back as he stretched and bumped him in the back of the head. The former scoffed and threw a look over his shoulder.

"Oops, my bad, bro."

"Well, quit trying to snuggle with me."

"What? I'm not trying to snuggle!"

"Yes you are!" Ulquiorra propped up on this elbow and looked over his shoulder. "You're putting your arms all around me!"

"I am not, you gay!"

"Gay?" Ulquiorra sat up straight. "Excuse me?"

"Can't we all just get along?" Yammy wailed.

After ten minutes of loud bickering, a couple of punches swung and an interjection from Tosen; Yammy was forced to sleep in the middle of Renji and Ulquiorra.

"Guys, I sleep on my stomach." Yammy confessed.

"Oh, COME ON." Renji slapped the air mattress.

"There's a hole in our mattress." Came the muffled voice of Ulquiorra.

"GREAT. JUST GREAT." Renji screamed as he and his bedmates slowly sank to the ground. "HOW CAN THIS GET ANY WO-"

At that moment, the door was kicked open by a force strong enough to have them bang off the walls. Everyone in the room stood up in shock and stared at the door. From the hallway, Aizen stepped in with a overabundance of pillows layered in his arms. His wild and childish grin peeked out from the top.

"PILLOW FIGHT!"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hope you enjoyed it despite the wait. Not one of our best chapters, but we tried to give you a few laughs.**

**The title of the next one will be: "The Pillow Fight"**

**If that grabs your interest at all. ;)**

**Thanks so much for reading and all the reviews!**


	6. The Pillow Fight

**Author's Note:**

**We're pretty excited about this one. Since OOC Aizen is our favorite character to write in this fan fiction. And we tried to let him shine in here.**

**The transitions might be a bit shaky, but we didn't want to have to keep breaking it up into parts.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**

* * *

**

"PILLOW FIGHT!"

Every single jaw hit the floor followed by silence. No one had any idea that the already ridiculous party could get even worse.

"Well?" Aizen dropped the pillows. "What are you all waiting for?"

"I'm hoping this is a bad dream." Szayel snickered.

"Then let me wake you up!" Aizen seized a pillow and rocketed it to Szayel. It hit the latter right in the face, sending him flying backwards onto his back. Aizen cheered. "Yay! Who's next?"

Fighting for their lives, everyone in the room scampered to find the best pillow to protect themselves. Snatching up their ammunition, the men in the room went wild.

Ikkaku grabbed a random pillow and swung it at Yumichika's head. The feathered man ducked just in time, cursing as he hit the floor. The pillow whooshed overhead with force, sending some sort of object out of the end of it. It clattered on the floor beside the two. It being a diary. They looked at each other, Ikkaku slowly grew a grin.

"Ikkaku, no."

"Dude. Come on."

"No."

"It's a diary."

"And?"

"And I diary is like a blank book…"

"So it's not ve-"

"And what do you do with books?"

"Read…them?"

"BINGO!" He snatched up the black leather book and rushed to a corner of the room; Yumichika followed.

"Ikkaku, this is so ugly to just hunch in a corner…" He cast a look over his shoulder. "Who's is it?"

"Holy shit." Ikkaku flipped to the first page. "It's the dark haired dude's…uh…Ulquiorra! Yeah!"

"This ought to be good…he's all mysterious."

Ikkaku nodded and flipped to a page, the font was a very neat cursive. The two read:

_April 26th__, 11:12 in the morning._

_I missed 11:11 again today. Seems like my wish will never come true._

_I went to make some cereal today, I almost fell down the steps again thanks to the janitors mopping every few minutes. Complaints will be written._

_As I walked into the kitchen, I realized I was the last one to eat this morning. All the bacon was gone and all that sat on the empty plate was a fly puking on the grease._

_I poured the plain Cheerios into my bowl since I've been lowering my cholesterol lately. No reason. I just think it's nice to be healthy. After I poured the cereal, I went to get some milk from the fridge and saw we had run out of milk. I stood there and gapped as Grimmjow walked in. He suggested I use orange juice._

_I ate bare and dry cereal in my room while watching __Leave it to Beaver __on the television. _

"Well that was…" Yumichika tilted his head. "Dull as hell. Even his cereal is boring."

Ikkaku nodded as he flipped to another page. "Ah, here is a better one."

_November 10__th__, 2:15 in the afternoon._

_Today I decided to change my sheets. Since I haven't changed them in a week, I fear I might breakout again. _

_I gathered the soiled linens and walked towards the laundry room to find Starrk's clothes spilled all over the floor. His stained boxers were making my socks filthy. I put my basket on top of the dryer and began to fill the washer with the sheets. I began to wonder if it would be easy to clean a person's soul and if I were to climb into the washer, if all the stupidity I have seen in this army would just wash away in a burst of Snuggle scent._

_I left the washer to do it's thing and went to read outside. The weather was nice today and winds decided to quiet down. I had just bought __The Bell Jar __from a catalogue and could not be more excited to read it in absolute silence. _

_As I poured over the book, I thought to myself: "What a wonderful silent time to enjoy my peace."_

_And then Grimmjow rode by on his dune buggy he received for his birthday. I went back inside._

_My sheets finished in the washer and I decided to take them out and move them to the dryer.. I noticed that someone had added their clothes to my load. I washed them again._

"O…kay?" Ikkaku stammered and closed the journal and looked up at his friend.

"That was a let down."

"I know, right?" Madarame shoved the diary back into Ulquiorra's pillow. "Well, let's get back to the fight."

The men stood up, opening themselves into a shower of pillows raining down upon them. A cackle of Gin raised above the crowd. "No one here will ever defeat me!" At that moment, he was grabbed around the knees by Starrk and knocked to the ground. Starrk began to go to town on Gin's face in an obvious revenge.

"That's right, fox ass!" He beat his chest with a throw pillow. "That's for ruining my night with your nasty questions!"

"Ouch!" Gin managed to sputtered through laughs and shots. "Come…on…it…was…a…joke!"

"NO!" Starrk raised the pillow above his head to strike one final blow. As he was beginning to pull down the hit, he was smacked upwards from the jaw. The hit sent him rolling backwards off Gin onto his back.

"Take that, Starrk!" Aizen giggled, running away to attack Szayel, who had just regained composure. As he stood up, he was knocked from behind again. Aizen rained hits down on him.

"ICHIGO! LET GO OF MY PONYTAIL!" Renji bellowed. Ichigo had his ponytail firmly in one hand, holding his head up. The other held a pillow that was delivering merciless shots to the Sixth Division Assistant's face repeatedly. "I'M GOING TO LOSE A TOOTH!"

"THIS!" Hit. "IS!" Smack. "FOR!" Strike. "YUZU!" A final whack and Renji slumped to the floor. Yammy's thundering run could be heard from across the room.

"I got your back, Renji!" He called, raising a large pillow over his head. "Don't worr-!"

He was smacked off course by Noitora who had a pillow in each hand wind-milling poor Grimmjow. He could not get a hit in through Noitora's constant attacks. All Jaegerjaquez could do was hold his hand in front of his face and scream insults.

"Noitora! Get off of me! I want to attack Ulquiorra!" Grimmjow screeched ducking another attempt to plow his face in. "Leave me alone and go fight someone else!"

"Like who?" Noitora asked, still waving his arms wildly in circles.

Grimmjow looked around at the absolute chaos unfolding in the room. Ikkaku and Yumichika were hunched in a corner in deep discussion of who knows what. Renji was being savagely beat by Ichigo and Aizen was still attacking the poor Szayel, who was on the ground with his arms over his head. Tosen walked by with his bowl of popcorn.

"Why not go get Tosen?" He pointed.

"You're right, sport!" Noitora redirected his flailing arms in the blind man's direction. "Hey, come here!" One of his hits almost pegged Hisagi in the face. The latter stumbled backwards and almost tripped over the sleeping Kira. Taken back by the fact he was able to blissfully sleep this entire time, Shuhei knelt down to check to see if he wasn't dead.

"Hey, Izuru…" His voice trailed off with his gaze as he noticed Kira's right hand was dipped into a mug of water. The side of the glass read: AIZEN. Sighing, he removed his hand and nudged him. "Wake up, dude. It's insane in here."

Kira sat up abruptly only to see the concerned face of Hisagi next to him and Yammy a few feet away, looking hopelessly lost. "How long have I been out?"

"A while." He pushed him gently. "Be glad that gay," He pointed his thumb at Yammy. "Didn't try to rape you in your sleep." The two laughed and looked over at him to see his reaction. Shuhei raised a pillow over his head and sent it flying to Yammy. Yammy snatched the pillow from the air.

"I AM NOT GAY." He tore it in half and threw a finger to the men through the cloud of goose feathers. "You're mine!"

The two leapt from their spot and dashed off, Yammy chasing them in all his fury. Around the room they went until Izuru ran face first into Ulquiorra with enough force to land him on his ass. He had just been standing against a wall watching the events unfold.

"Yammy." Ulquiorra said plainly. "Please leave us alone. Go back to fighting someone else."

Yammy shot the bird at him and dashed off, slipping in his footy pajamas. Ulquiorra sighed and looked down at Izuru. Kira motioned his hand up for the Fourth Espada to help, but the gesture was not returned. He awkwardly brought it back.

"Uh, thanks man." He stood up.

"Not a problem. Have you seen my pillow?"

"Uh, which is it?" Izuru hoped it wasn't the one that Yammy had marred.

"It's square."

"..And?" He shrugged.

"White with my name stitched on the side."

"Oh. No dude, I haven't"

"What a shame." Ulquiorra scanned the room. "My journal was in that."

"You have a..diary?"

"Journal, imbecile."

Izuru put up his hands. "Sorry."

Their gazes scanned the room to see many of the men still going at the battle. Gin, who had been freed of Starrk's ruthless assaults, was spinning in rapid circles about the hall with a pillow in each hand. Men were diving out of his way, except Aizen. Aizen had been too busy beating Szayel all night to attack anyone or be attacked at all. He was sending strikes to the back of the pink-haired man's head as Gin made his way towards him unknowingly. Still spinning, he whacked Aizen in the middle of his face.

"Ouch!" Aizen jumped up, clutching his nose. "Gin, you hit me!"

The entire room froze. Gin dropped his pillows. "Sorry, sir! I wasn't paying attention!"

"You know what?" Aizen checked his hand for blood. There was none. "Game off. We're done with this and going to bed." He turned sharply to Tosen. "Tosen, get me some ice and a nasal strip. I'm going to be wheezing all night."

The men in the room began to slowly put their spots back together. Ikkaku dragged the half-conscious Szayel back to their bed. Yammy, Renji and Ulquiorra stood around their flattened bed before laying down anyway. Uneasily, they all laid down quietly.

The lights shut off and the started to drift to sleep, despite the chainsaw snores from Renji.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**We. Adore. This. Chapter.**

**And hope you kids did too! We'll be trying to wrap it up, but it's so much fun to write!**

**Thanks for reading and the reviews!**


End file.
